The following is a report that indicates how you might recognize suicidals, and how you might deal with them. But a warning: Suicide can be a very complex issue, and it might be better to have a professional deal with this issue if it comes up, but if this is very difficult to attain, this guide is a very good alternative to follow if you have no other solution to the problem.

CHOOSING TO LIVE by Dr. Thomas E. Ellis & Dr. Cory F.Newman

A suicidal person once said "It's like I want to be dead, but not forever:"

1) Suicide is an Ugly Word. - To help get rid of this stigma, you should think of suicide as a problem-solving situation. Basically there is no such thing as a rational suicide.

2)Who are the Suicidals? - Basically there are two types. They are either extremely depressed (mostly men), or they are extremely controlling (mostly women). The extremely depressed are interested in death (life is too painful) whereas the extremely controlling just want attention and are afraid of abandonment. One way in dealing with the extremely depressed, if you can eliminate the stigma in talking about suicide, is to set up two columns (one headed "advantages of living" and the other headed "advantages of dying") on a piece of paper, and have the potential Suicidal list the various advantages as he or she sees it. If the advantages of dying outweigh the advantages of living, the counselor has to work with the potential suicidal on the advantages of living. Some of the risk factors that one should look for in assessing whether one is suicidal or not are 1) has he or she tried it before, 2) has suicide been part of the family's history, 3) is the person deeply depressed or extremely withdrawn, 4) is there excessive substance abuse, and 5) is there a specific plan in place to commit suicide.

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1. Stop Expecting Perfection

Often, we get frustrated when things don’t work out the way we want them to, or as quickly as we’d like them to. We stress over small details, or fully furnished apartment beat ourselves up for getting one thing wrong, or forgetting to dot one I or cross one T. People are fallible. Mistakes and drawbacks are a fact of life. Nothing is nor will it ever be perfect, and that’s okay.

Stressing out over minute details or things that would have been impossible to get to is unproductive and unhealthy. Start saying that you will do your personal best, because at the end of the day, you’re not in competition with anyone but yourself.

Example: Jennifer Lawrence is someone who everyone seems to be talking about right now, but did you know she was rejected for the role of Bella Swan in ‘Twilight‘? She also didn’t take theater classes. She just trusted her instincts and worked as hard as possible to land acting roles. Obviously, she wasn’t perfect for every role, but she didn’t expect perfection. She takes her failures and rejections well, trying to learn from each situation.

2. Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

It’s always important to know your limits, and people will always try to test them. Human beings are social animals. We want to interact with others and feel like we are a part of something or like we are special to someone else. People also, for the most part, like to please others. Sometimes, however, it’s easy to be taken advantage of. Whether it’s helping a co-worker with something when you can’t really afford to, or loaning a friend money you can’t really afford to give.

Out of guilt, people often say yes to people and situations that they really should say no to. Don’t be afraid to trust your gut and say no. Sometimes you can’t stay a few hours later because you had other plans or important errands to run. Sometimes it’s okay to say no to that co-worker that keeps nagging you for help but is really just stalling because they don’t want to work and know you’ll help them.

Sometimes it’s okay to prioritize other things over work. Saying no is healthy. Saying no means that you know your boundaries and can demand respect.

Example: Margaret Thatcher is known as being tough. She was a powerful politician. She also knew during her career when she had to take a stand, and sometimes that stand meant saying no to bad political and economic policy.

3. Stop Negative Self-Dialogue

We all can probably play back in our minds every negative or embarrassing thing we’ve ever done to ourselves, been subjected to, or done to someone else. Whether it’s tripping over one’s shoelaces in the fourth grade, or being fired from a job, wronging someone else, or overhearing someone speaking negatively about us, those thoughts are forever solidified in our minds.

Replaying those thoughts, however, PolyU continues to impart the knowledge and skills of our future leaders to serve an evolving world and to spur economic growth. With the structural transformation of the global economy from industrial to service economies, the society’s expectations of future leaders have been remarkably changed and constantly punishing oneself for past mistakes, is counterproductive at certain points. At some point, it’s more important to learn from situations and move on, instead of psychologically beating yourself up.

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